As a Mother comforts her child, so will I comfort you. Isaiah 66:13
‘You are so unfair!” she cried at the top of her lungs. In sadness her mother sat down at the kitchen bar stool and wondered why some days with her teen daughter had to be so difficult.
Kerry and her mom Beth had reached the height of disagreement. It could have been about drugs or alcohol. It could have been about school grades or driving. It could have been about anything that a teenager thinks is ok, and a parent knows better. Today it was simply about clothes; blue jeans to be exact. They were too tight, to low and no thoughtful mom in the entire world would consider allowing her fifteen year old out of the house with the top of her panties showing! The teens are just sometimes unaware of the possible consequences of their choices. No still means no, but some days it can really be a challenge to stick to your guns, especially when you love that child so much that there aren’t even any satisfactory words to describe it as far as you’re concerned.
So true to form and fashion and with the compassion only found in a mother’s heart, Beth went upstairs to try to make peace and talk it through with her daughter. As she quietly opened her bedroom door, she saw Kerry lying on her bed, face down, looking out her window, and just finishing up a good cry. With all the patience humanly possible, her mom slipped onto the bed next to her and began to rub her back. Not saying a word she just loved her daughter and waited.
As she knew would happen, her child, her little girl, finally took a deep breath and turned toward her mom. “I don’t understand” she said much more softly than her previous rant. “I just want to be like all the other girls at school, and every one of them wears these, and they look good in them”. “Why do I have to be different Mom?” As Kerry’s mom began to explain to her some of the ramifications of wearing clothing that could be considered to explicit, too revealing and what others conclude when they see such outfits, she gazed into her daughters pleading eyes only to feel her pain when she stood her ground on the issue. ‘I only want the very best for you Kerry” she said reassuringly. “I know mom” Kerry answered, “but sometimes your best for me doesn’t feel like it”.
As a child of an Almighty God, the Father of all that there is, I too can sometimes relate to the plea of this fifteen year old. “God, why can’t I live close to my sisters?” “Why can’t I see my grand children more?” “Why did we have to lose our job and our income and our house”? “Why did my husband have to die?” “What is next God, because I am so tired”. Sometimes, if I was totally honest with you I would have to confess that His best, sometimes, doesn’t feel like it either.
“I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future..Jeremiah 29:11
Everyone has days in their journey that can be a challenge. Some days we make choices that are not only not in our best interest, but also not in the best interest of those around us and especially not in God’s best interest. And that is where His heart is always……His best interest. And before we apply a very human natural response to that sentence consider this: His best is more than you can think or imagine. His best is the collection of protections, provisions and love towards you in your everyday life without boundaries, borders or conditions. His best is walking right next to you everyday, in every moment no matter if it is a result of your bad choice or someone else’s. He is there. But true to our fallen nature, our displaced belief and our misunderstanding about what unconditional love is causes us to doubt Him, His desires for us and especially His best.
Perhaps, the most amazing thing about this whole experience is the fact that even when we don’t believe, choose to disobey or even walk away, His personification of perfect love is ever there waiting for us to relinquish our stubbornness so that He can indeed open up doors we would never discover on our own. Much like Kerry, we cry on our beds of knowing it all, only to realize later down the road that our Father was indeed right and we didn’t have a clue about that which we thought we knew.
Today, I choose to say ok. OK, God you do know and your best for me is greater than anything I could ever do for myself. Today I surrender, I agree with your rightness and am grateful for your grace, even the grace I will need tomorrow when I stomp up into the dark rooms of my own stubborn heart and cry on my bed until you come in and rub my back and make it all ok. Thank you Father, for making it all ok.
Treasures in the Darkness
Jan Hart 2009